Don't love someone

 

Don't love too deeply until

 

You're sure that other person loves you with the same depth

Because the depth of your love today is the depth of your wound tomorrow

To love is to be vulnerable to give someone your heart and say

'I know this could hurt so bad, but I'm willing to be vulnerable and love you.'

 

(copas from somewhere)

 

and just like that I realized it is too late for me to step back.  

I remember one time I asked you if it would be better for me to leave you because we seemed to have no future for our love. You seemed unhappy with that and then sent me a broken-hearted song. This made me fragile. I could not break your heart. No.

However, with the course of time, my love is growing deeper and deeper and your presence in my life is like air for me. I cannot live without breathing the air -- you. 

PT56 11.19 14.09.2023

 

 

Fabulous

 

"The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous." Carrie Bradshaw.

 

You know what darling, subconsciously, I have practiced what Carrie said above for some years in my life. I have been the main character in my relationship with myself. I have felt contented enough. Nevertheless, once in a blue moon, I am questioning myself whether one day I will find someone so irresistibly attractive to me that I will fall for him.

 

And out of the blue you came into my life.

 

At first you were just a nice newbie to have chat with. As time unveiled itself, our intense conversation made me addicted to your attention. Seemingly the universe answered my question whether one day I would find someone so compatible to my 'taste'. I have found you! Eventually!

 

However, as Carrie said in another occasion, "love which is not accompanied by exquisite pain is not worth having", I proved it that falling in love with you is not always about happiness. You are there. You once told me you were mine. But in fact it is not that easy to 'have' you. For myself.

 

and I remember once upon a time, you yourself said, "when we are truly in love with someone, we cannot avoid the possibility that we will feel hurt by the love."

 

Where will our love lead us?

 

MS48 17.41 13.09.2023

 

I HAVE

 

I HAVE

 

I have smelled the addiction to your attention

since the first time you flirted me

 

I have felt the flame burning inside me

since the first time you sent me that love song

 

I have felt the tenderness of your heart

since the first time you lent me your ears when I needed someone to talk to

 

I have felt the warmth of your love

since the first time you touched me

 

I have felt the gentleness of your care

since the first time you hugged me tenderly

 

I have smelled the intoxication

since the first time you aroused me

 

I have warned myself not to be lured away

since the first restlessness came to me

due to your poisonous kisses

 

And I have let myself fall despite the warnings from my brain

while my heart and my mind stubbornly are on you now and again

 

It has been too far now

and I cannot step back

to the day before all this confusion took place

 

July 12, 2022 12.57